Amazed

I sit in awe of my child. She has decided to write cards. She dictated what she wanted to say to dada and now she sits copying it for her many family members.



This one says:
"Dear Lolli, I love you. I know you're sad because CiCi died and everyone is crying.
Love, Clare"

Sniff.

Then there's this one:



When I asked her about it, she said "Uncle Ted gets a special one because it was his life."

I am humbled, honored to be her mother, impressed by her clarity.

I'm also taking notes. Ahem.

Growing pains

Today has been a rough day. Both girls were up several times in the night. Mama is tired. Fairies are tired. Crabbiness abounds.
The girls bickered all morning. Grabbing, bossing, fussing. Ella took her mouse away from Clare which caused screaming the likes of which I have only heard from the deepest depths of anger. Clare was hurt and raw and unable to cope. Ella was unyielding. Unwilling to share, unable to see any other truth besides "this my mousey."
Nonetheless, I took them to play group hoping to provide a distraction. It looked pretty much like this:



Unable to be apart, unable to come together, they hovered in each others' space with jagged edges exposed. Tough stuff.
Naptime came, with badgering (and even then only for Ella), after an hour and a half.
So here I sit with this tiny, vulnerable, troubled, four year old fairy. Her wings look slightly dusty, her eyes darkened and sad. I asked her to draw a picture about how she feels. She didn't know what I meant. So I asked her if she'd had any feelings today. When she said she hadn't, I reminded her of her screaming fit and asked her to close her eyes and picture something in her head that showed that feeling. This is what she drew:



On the left is a cowboy on a horse. He and his horse are trying to knock off the cowboy and knock over the horse on the right. She feels like that cowboy and that horse.
Well said, little one. Bless your heart.

Community service.

Clare was not behaving at the table this morning. I let it go, unwilling to argue so early. When we were finished, I asked her to clear the table (which she usually does) and put her sister's milk away. Then I gave her the vacuum. We do community service when we've behaved in a way that disrupts our family.



Given that she just yelled "BEST CHORE EVER!" I'm not sure I've achieved the intended impact. Then again, my floors are clean (she's been at it for 20 minutes) and she is happy and engaged. Maybe we got exactly what I asked for.

Austin Zoo

Today was the last day of school at St. Matt's. So Ella and I decided to grab the last few moments we could together before we start sharing our mornings with Sissy again. As luck would have it, our friend Zachary officially turned two today. It was the perfect opportunity to squeeze in a zoo trip. Z was Ella's first friend and she loves him dearly. His sister, Avery, is one of Clare's favorite people, to boot. But she and Ella are cut from the same cloth, so they enjoy each other just as well.

We started our trip by feeding the animals at the petting zoo. There are so many goats that love to eat right from your hand...or bag...or purse...or wherever you may be hiding a snack. There are barns to walk through with birds in their nests and pigs to look at and llamas to feed as well. The animals are in pens rather than traditional zoo enclosures which makes them closer and more accessible to the kids. It also makes them a little more pushy and a little more like spoiled dogs than wild critters. So we have to be mindful when we interact with them that they were indeed, wild.

When we were all out of food, we happily washed up and went for a train ride. It's about fifteen minutes of slow, quiet fun in the hill country. I always forget how beautiful it is here until I get the chance to sit still and really look at it. I love the icy green, low grass and the short, scrubby trees. I often take them for granted as I spend half the year cursing their pollen.

We followed up our train ride by walking through the lions and tigers and bears (oh, my!). The tigers were swimming and playing with their toys in the water. It was amazing to see them leap and swat and play like [really giant and slightly scary] kitty cats. The lions were scratching to get inside their enclosures. They must have been hot or else waiting for food. They seemed a little feisty. I kept thinking we would get to hear them roar. The zookeeper told us that you can hear them roar from five miles away and assured us we could move on to lunch and just not miss it if they did. One pair of lions was rescued by the zoo from the circus. The other pair were once pets and now live at the zoo permanently. It's always nice to hear how they came to be at the zoo. It isn't a traditional zoo in that all the animals have been rescued and are there for sanctuary. The monkeys and birds finished up our animal fun, but we waved and passed quickly because we were starving and anxious to spring Sissy for the summer. Maybe next time we go, we'll start the loop backwards so we have more patience for those last parts and don't feel compelled towards fascination with the goats. ;)

Hello, summer!

Today was our final day of preschool at St. Matt's.



I'm surprised at how emotional we all feel watching it end. Even Ella felt it. Sure, the sugar didn't help. But neither did saying goodbye to our precious and wonderful teacher who is leaving. Sniff.
I'm amazed by Clare's progress this year. She propelled herself straight into the program with amazing fortitude and dedication. She was nurtured and loved by two amazing women who just intuitively knew exactly what she needed. I am more grateful than I have words to express. I sit here now with the greatest admiration and so much love.



I am awed by this child's tenacity and hunger to know and understand everything...and more than a little bit daunted at the prospect of meeting that desire...



In a word, you are excellent.
I am so proud of you, big girl.

Recital time is near

And I am just giddy. I love to see those sweet little people get all giggly and nervous and perfectly human. It does a heart good.

Ella's new BFF

Clare goes to school with sweet Lily Claire, who is the daughter of a long time friend. They are thick as thieves. They squeal together and hug a lot and it makes my heart sing. Just to sweeten the pot, Ella has taken to her big sister Kareena. She asks for her every single day. She cries all the way home when we leave her. She gets to see her at pick up on school days and they hold hands through the fence. Sometimes, if Kareena surprises her, she can't even speak, she is so overjoyed. I love love. I am so happy to be the mama to squealy, lovely little girls.