The Milestones of Incredible Braun

I'm always amazed at how Clare's weight matches her height. It's been consistent most of her life. Today she weighs 50.5# and she's now 50 1/2" tall.
Crazy.
Last week Clare started public kindergarten. It's a huge deal. She's had to enter into a new school completely on her own with little notice about who her teacher is. She is thrilled to be one of Mrs. Harvey's hula bears, a position I requested based on her many years of skilled teaching and the most loving and firm boundaries I have ever witnessed. Her classroom is kind and positive and hums with order...just like Clare. She is in the right place, there is no doubt about that.
Two weeks ago she started a real ballet class. No more baby dance for her. She has a gorgeous polish instructor who is well over six feet tall. She is delightful. I'm so glad that Clare has her grace and beauty to soak up. That's a really great thing for a future (giant) superstar to be a part of. ;)
Last month, she started getting an allowance. There was a day when daddy was traveling that she made breakfast, lunch and dinner for the family. She also folded two loads of laundry and learned to mop the floor. At the end of the day she kindly advocated for herself and let me know she thought it was time she got her own money, as she was working hard to earn it. So after making a plan with daddy about what to save and where, she is off and running with $5 a week. She deserves every penny. Now when we leave the house to go somewhere, she brings her purse with her wallet in case she sees something she wants to buy. Today she made her first purchase. Her own diary.


She paid, waited for her change, and carefully stowed her receipt. She is so pleased with her purchase. We're still working on the lock; that's been frustrating. And we had to have a long talk about the difference between privacy and secrets (because our family doesn't keep secrets). But after all that, she is diligently filling it in page by page.
Writing so much about herself and her life sparked a pain in her that she's been struggling with for a while. She misses her other. Mac left for St. Louis on Friday and it's slowly been dawning that she's moving for real. Yesterday it smacked her like a wall and she cried with the heartbreak of it for hours. Her first grief. I felt so honored to sit in that space with her and help her hold her tender heart with care, making a space for her to learn this incredibly important process.
I cannot believe how far we've come this summer. September, I'm glad you're here.

Community Service

In this house, if your behavior is hideous enough to suck the air out of the room, you get to do something to rebalance it.

Today is laundry day and Ella is feeling pretty bossy, slightly sassy and a tad destructive.



So today she learned to fold napkins. Too bad she can't cook dinner yet. ;)

Swimming, for real.

Ella can dive for rings!

And jump off the diving board. Wowza, she's brave.

Two days ago she could scarcely make it to the steps if you pushed her. Today, she swam the length of the steps on the surface and learned side-breathing. Mr. Ian is doing a great job with her.

Clare can already swim on her own, but she is working hard on newer, better skills. Today she was in the lap lane working on strokes and kicks. She's also working on her dives with Miss Emily.

They'll follow up these two week lessons with a three week swim and gym camp at Crenshaws. I'm so excited for them. I've always loved swimming, so I'm glad they do, too.

bELLArina

Doesn't get much better than this.



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Soaking it in

We are loving this summer. For the first time, we are truly big enough for adventure. We live without naps, walk far, carry our own packs. We can read, cross streets properly and explore without much mischief. So we are thick into experiencing all that we can of this thing you people call summer...cause really, it's our first one. :)
Today we visited the Austin Nature and Science Center. We weren't new there, so we played hard with no reservations. We took some of our favorite friends with us for reinforcement.




Some of our nearest and dearest.



Here's Big Dude looking for frogs.



Here they are as explorers digging dinosaur bones...



Adventurers feeding fish...



Climbers working together on their balance...



and strengthening their muscles...



feeding their growing bodies...



and simply loving each other.
What a great day. Thanks, Mags. We adore you.

Biggest goodbyes

I cannot begin to express how very blessed we were this year.


These women loved and cared for Clare in ways I did not even imagine she needed. They set down their typical curriculum in order to teach her what she needed most: how to stand up on her own two feet. They held her up and offered her the chance to grow into her full stature. They encouraged her to be a loving and brave friend, and I could not be more grateful. They taught her to read, gave her space to speak her mind, and fostered her sensitive voice. They validated fears, nudged her to engage fully, and showed her how to speak up. She can now stand up and read to her class with confidence. In many ways, I feel like she just had her kindergarten. Next year she will be able to focus on the transition to public school and relax about everything else. We have Mrs. Race and Mrs. McCullough to thank for that.

We celebrated with our school family today at the bowling alley.








The we headed back to school for pizza and popsicles.





The kids were showered with gifts and love.











And had to say some very sad goodbyes.
We will make a lot of changes next year. We have been processing them the best we can as we walk up to them, and we're doing fairly well. Still, the realizations are coming fast and so is the grief that always comes with every change. The hardest realization we've had so far was yesterday when it sunk in for Clare that Mac will not be with her in school next year. At the end of their last real school day together, she got in the van and cried for 45 minutes. She and Mac have been inseparable since they went to Palaestra at Crenshaw's last summer. They save each other seats, push each other on the swings, fight like sisters and defend each other just the same. It's been inspiring to see the tender hearts of these little girls as they have plowed through the new and complicated social aspects of school life side by side. They came through it beautifully by supporting each other.
Today they split Best Friend necklace, so that when they're apart they can remember that they have support out there in the collective heart.


Thankfully, it won't end here. Their friendship has inspired a connection between our families that will continue for years, God willing. They're a big part of our church family and we also share a play group.
Time marches on, but the best things (and people) stay in our hearts forever.

Olympic style endings

Ella had her last gymnastics class today. She has grown so much with Coach AJ. He supported her perfectly and pushed her gently to be independent. I was so happy for her when I watched her cross the beam all by herself. Today she had the courage to flip over the uneven bars, something she hasn't had the courage to do very often. This little girl has a lot of gusto.



She stood up on that podium with her trophy held high. It was enough to make a mama choke back a sob. A moment like that for a child builds more self esteem than a years worth of compliments. I saw her filled up in that moment with her own pride, soaking up a feeling of accomplishment.



She'll carry that forever; and so will I.

Fat beam

Today was visitation day at gymnastics. I got a good eyeful.

TADA!

20$

To the first person who can guess the song.

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Hijacked

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Movin' on up.

Ella has just completed some major milestones. Big growth for her. She can count actual items now. She's been able to count to twenty (and then from twenty-five to thirty) for a while, but when you ask her to count items, she often counts some twice or skips some or really just starts counting and doesn't stop (remember the hide and seek video?). Well something finally clicked and now...


Bingo! Counting up a storm.

She also demonstrated in Supercool Preschool this morning that she knows more about letters than I thought. Miss Elizabeth was teaching today and asked her to pass out some bowls of beads. Each bowl had a letter on the bottom like this:


When I asked her who each belonged to, she told me without hesitation J was for Jim and S was for Scott and Z was for Zachery. I had no idea.

I guess that live in micro-tutor is finally paying off.



To add further evidence in support of her growing brilliance, I submit that she did not eat the lard covered bagel we made as a bird feeder.
Thank heaven for tiny miracles...

Guilt and the grudge

Clare is really struggling with something. She is working through some friendship skills at a brisk pace, offering a sneak peek at the teenage years to come. Lawd help me.

It started a few weeks ago when she had a fight with her friend, Mac. She got mad at Mac when she divulged her hiding spot during hide and seek. She screamed and ran off and just lost it. Mac apologized, but she would not let it go. She didn't want her to leave, but she wouldn't forgive her, either. She was absolutely holding her hostage in her anger. It was so painful. It took days to unravel it all and several apology notes. She lost some trust with Mac, but not any love, thank goodness.

This led her to write an apology note to a classmate for accidentally knocking down his blocks. I thought it was classic overcompensation. So I let it go.

But today, I see we've gone another way. She and Mac were chasing each other and Clare tripped her by accident. Mac was screaming immediately. Thinking she had broken something, we ran to Mac immediately and took care of her. By the time the dust had settled, Clare was in a dark and tough place. She seemed shaken by the attention I'd given Mac (I am the keeper of the Mary Poppins purse that holds all things first aid). So realizing my error in not touching base with her, I went to talk to her. But all she would say to me was "It's my fault. I did it." She was crying and yelling and would not be held. Bless her. No amount of reassurance would convince her to let herself off the hook. She was treating herself the same way she'd treated Mac weeks ago. Then she refused to let Mac talk to her. She kept running away from her and making mean gestures. How horrible. Eventually I had to draw a firm boundary for her and tell her to stop. I gave her two more minutes to run it out and asked her to stop treating her friend that way when that time was up. She came around, but not until I firmly and clearly told her what to do. By that time, Mac was scared to approach her, worried to be emotionally wounded again. Slightly scarred.


Not all wounds can be covered by Hello Kitty. She was hurt today, too and she needs to heal. However, it's hard to know how to help her because her age keeps me from really being able to dig in with her in a way that I'm accustomed to. I'm praying a lot and hugging her a lot and talking when she's available (mentally). I know she's learning and I'm not worried about her, just stumped about how deep to go. I've always given her a ton of credit for being wise. Always assumed capability in her favor. But I don't know if it would be better to just teach her the golden rule and move on.
Le sigh.

Motherhood.

All in a day's work

Sweet second child gets no time alone. Number two's lot is often to follow in number one's shadow, to scrabble for attention, to scream when overwhelmed because no one listens until then.
Not so for this butter bean.
We are working so hard to maintain some peace for her, give her one on one parent time and to nurture her own friendships.
She's winning.


Here she is visiting Dada at work,


Eating on the best patio in town,


secure as all get out. Totally, 100% Ella, livin' out loud.
Lucky duck.

Happiest of New Years

We have had such an amazing year. I am humbled by all the love we've been a part of. We are surrounded by amazing people.








Here's to another wonderful year!





May it twinkle with the same intensity as 2011. May it shine with all the love we can muster. May it blaze with as much glory as our Christmas tree did when Allen burned it in the chiminea this evening. What a great night.

Happy New Year, lovely ones.